Is getting back together with ex a good or bad idea? Before you consider attempting to get back with each other again, there are a few things you should think about.

Your well-meaning friends and caring family will always offer their opinions and advice believing that they know it all, and that they know what is best for you. Opinions could vary from: “Get over it and move on,” to “Come on, there’s plenty of fish in the sea,” to “She/he wasn’t worth it and you know it,” and the favourite, “Time is a great healer.”

Not the words you really want to hear, right? All you want is ways to getting back together with ex boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s all that matters to you. You close your ears to the advice and opinions that you do not want to hear. You just spend your waking hours wondering what on earth went wrong, thinking of ways to save what you both once had.

A few points to consider while pondering on the idea of getting back together with ex; whether it’s a good or bad idea:

1. Should you get back together, what will be different? Since your relationship didn’t work as you would have wanted when you were together, how will things be different should you get back together? What was the main reason you broke up; was it a combination of a few things or one major thing, and can that ‘thing’ be resolved before you get back together?

It is important to take into account all the reasons that mounted up to finally bring about the break up. Be truthful and fair; it’s never helpful to go down the road of blame. Getting back together with ex without changing anything in the relationship will ultimately lead you to be separate again.

2. Dramatically or eliminate any complications and hitches. Are you now involved in a ‘rebound relationship’? If you are, it is imperative that you end it before attempting to revive your relationship with your ex. It is an unforgiving must. Rebound relationships are a complication in and of themselves, yet alone the bigger impediments they will cause when you also have a relationship with your ex.

This can get really ugly and nasty. Avoid it like the plague.

3. Start all over again. Understand that when you get back together, you will more than likely start your relationship all over again; from scratch. Trust, reliance, and confidence need to be rebuilt, brick by brick. You cannot expect to continue where you finished off. That’s just plain unrealistic.

If you are convinced that you truly want to save your relationship, don’t go back ignorant; realise that some effort from you or both of you is required to make it work the next time round.

You have to be aware that getting back together with ex requires more work than the first time round. Things need to get fixed; trust and passion need to be revived.

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